'Dancing is always a good ploy because heterosexual men aren't supposed to be able to move. The knack is to nuance your behaviour so she assumes you're homosexual but, when she realises you're not, feels it was she who misread the situation. 'You need to make absolutely certain she can't accuse you of lying or deceiving her. 'To tell a woman you're gay is the end of everything,' he says. 'I'm more successful and less nervous if I treat dating almost as if it's a sitcom or I'm a character in a film. 'I admit it still feels a bit odd to actively try to downplay my masculinity, but if I end up with a girl it's a temporary sacrifice I'm prepared to make.'įarndell, an architect from Essex, agrees. Now, when he goes out to meet women, the chances are he'll pretend to be gay. What began as a joke for Graham and his friends has become a routine: he estimates he can pick up twice as many women when in Stray mode than he can when approaching them as himself. 'But it's doomed, no matter what country it's tried in, because women all over the world want the same thing from their men, and that's someone they can trust.' 'Men have begun testing this Stray technique in America and Australia too,' he said. 'But the thought just grew until I decided to give it a proper go.'Īllan Pease, who co-wrote the recently published Why Men Can Only Do One Thing At A Time And Women Never Stop Talking with his wife Barbara, has observed the phenomenon in other countries.
'I didn't start pretending to be gay as a deliberate, cynical tactic right away,' he said.
The ruse occurred to Graham a couple of years ago when a girlfriend told him one of his most attractive qualities was being unusually open for a heterosexual man. In reality, these men are not pretending to be gay, they're simply pretending not to be heterosexual predators on the pull.' 'Obviously not all gay men dress and act like these men, and it's insulting to suggest we do. 'The gay community is divided about this tactic: on the one hand, we find it amusing and can understand why straight men do it girls love hanging out with gay men because they want someone they can chat to and have a laugh with without worrying about ulterior motives. 'I've seen Strays in action as far afield as Glasgow, Manchester, Leeds and Brighton. 'It was the gay community that first coined the name Strays,' he said. Geoff Saunders, the homosexual author of Other People and Watch My Lips, says the tactic has gained popularity over the past 18 months.
But now, according to tomorrow's edition of Cosmopolitan magazine, heterosexual men are taking advantage of the vogue. Gay best friends are a celebrity must-have - Madonna is seen out with Rupert Everett, Geri Halliwell turned to George Michael in her hour of need, and Sex And The City character Carrie Bradshaw relies on gay friend Stanford Blatch. 'I never actively claim to be gay, but by simply giving women the impression I might be I find practically without exception there's more chance they will sleep with me when they realise I'm heterosexual,' admitted Graham, a 28-year-old computer expert from south London. It's a trick, they insist, that delivers the required results. But they are not like any other gay couple: they are 'Strays' - enthusiastic players of a new dating game gaining currency across the country when STRaight men pretend to be gAY to attract women.